mostly books

Friday, 20 October 2017

to my 16 year old self

I actually look about 16 here now that I think about it but no no, this was taken last year


#selflove #glowup #snatchedforthegods - confidence has become such an Instagrammable thing now hasn't it? And that by the way, is so welcomed by me. If there's one great thing that's come from social media and actually 2017 in general, it's that as an online community, we're really into lifting each other up and feeling ourselves. 

   It's also a very millennial (currently loving and owning this word but I'm aware I over use it so that might change) thing; I think because we're all still recovering from the utter discomfort and awkwardness of our teenage years. Obviously I see the value (now) of going through secondary school and puberty and bullies and friendships that only last 2 months max and GCSE's and Nickelodean and the Sims and Tamagotchis. And  yeah yeah, there are some good memories but on a whole if my teenage-hood was a film, it'd get like an an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.
   Being a cringe or being super awkward and needy aren't even the reasons why growing for me was not so smooth (though both were true), it's more so that I was so uncomfortable and unhappy in my own skin and almost embarrassed to be myself. 

I've since grown up, been through some shizz, come to my senses and genuinely really like the person I'm becoming. And I have to say this fairly-new found confidence is SUPER freeing. It's the freedom to ...

  • Pursue hobbies I want to, even if noone else I know has similar interests. 
  • To talk in front of people and stumble over my words and make mistakes and know, that it's really not that deep.
  • To freely laugh and not worry about what the rest of my face and body is doing (I'm a very .... physical laugher. If you know, you know)
  • To eat in front of people. Seriously what is this hang up even about?! We can all agree that food is amazing and is best enjoyed in the company of others ... outside your parents who question why you eat so quickly and leave your vegetables.
  • To sit alone in public places. I actually love my own company. But seriously do you remember how embarrassing it was to be seen sitting alone in school? How times have changed.
  • Truly accept my body because I'm not here on earth to be physically pleasing to anyone but myself. #wonthedoit And besides I have a beaut, completely abled body - I am beyond blessed. 
  • To be bold and not hide my faith because I've been saavveeed and that is good news !

So to my 16 year old self,

♡  It'll get better. Anxiety is not going to ruin your life.

♡  You can't buy friendship. And they are not your friends. 

♡  You're going to find out that you are really good at certain things.

♡  Be nicer to your brother, he's going to be your life ally.

♡  One day, you will speak French ... without stopping every other word to conjugate it mate how are you not tired.

♡ Stop using Mummy's Iman foundation to powder compact. It's been like, 2 years is that even hygienic? 

♡ Money isn't everything.

♡ Your skin is beautiful. 

♡ Your boobs aren't going to grow anymore and you need to rejoice in that and move on to other concerns. 

♡ You don't have to explain your hair choices to anyone. And everyone and their sister needs to stop rooting your hair.  

♡  Don't quit because it's hard. You're even going to find the very things you enjoy hard and don't be ashamed about it! There's nothing wrong with someone who has to work hard to see results. It's a trait of yours that's about to come in very handy.

♡  Speak up.

♡ Just because you can't draw (and girl you can't, don't force it) doesn't mean you're not creative.

♡ Susan, you're about to spend your hard earned money, and I mean haarrd (worked in a stockroom that played Sean Kingston on loop in my last summer of secondary school - 10 hours shifts imagine) on overpriced foundation that does NOT match you babes. But take heart because Fenty beauty is coming with affordable foundation  and 40 shades?! And soon every high street brand will copy them and you'll be buying £10 foundation from like, Superdrug. In the meantime, maybe stick to that Iman compact, at least it's your shade.

♡  This is the last year you'll play the Sims. The computer is going to break and noone is going to try and fix it to encourage your addiction girl so enjoy it while you can.

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2 comments

  1. I LOVED THIS, SUSAN! I can totally relate to having teenage years that wouldn't score higher than 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. I look back on the past and wonder a whole bunch of things - usually wishing I knew then what I do now, and hoping I don't make the same mistakes again... But I am so pleased that I am starting to accept myself for who I am. Especially when that comes to how I look! I am doing my best to embrace this new freedom too, and it's ace! xxx

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    1. Thanks :') and the funny thing is, I think a lot of people can relate too?! And I remember thinking people were generally really mean at secondary school but the truth is, a lot of people just aren't having the best time! and yay! confidence really makes you realise how much time and energy you wasted not being confident. It's still a process I have to say, last week was a really bad week for me confidence wise but that's why it's so helpful having this post actually, to remind myself of how far I've come! xxx

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