Saturday, 12 November 2016

Writing, Consumerism + my blogging identity crisis

I couldn't think of an appropriate photo of so here's an old one I've used before 
It's been about a year since I started this blog and if you've been here from the beginning you'll know it's seen many incarnations. I'd started because I like writing and wanted a space to do it. I read a lot and thought why not start a book blog?  It was fun for a while. I wrote a couple of reviews on books I'd been reading at the time. But then I also started reading a lot of other book blogs ... started comparing mine to theirs and low and behold, in came insecurity. A lot of the book blogs I'd found read a lot of YA, making me think that if I wanted to make my blog better, I should read more YA too. Btw I know now this is dumb. And it meant I kind of got lost in the whole blogging community itself. It just became more about making everything look nice with book hauls and book tags and having a great shelf. Rather than actually, writing about books.


In the book blogging community are some of the nicest and most passionate bloggers you'll ever meet online. But for example in trying to buy stacks of books so I could have really nice photos, I wasn't being authentic *cringe I hate that word but it's appropriate here*. I couldn't afford the books I was buying, nor did I have the space to put them. Bookstagram and I guess Instagram in general, definitely promotes consumerist behaviour. There's actually nothing wrong with that. People are free to do whatever they want with their money and, it is of course natural to want to share stuff that you've bought that you love. But I was basically buying, in the name of fitting into a community. And because I was blogging about books I didn't enjoy reading, it became a bit of a chore. Hence why started writing  writing about films and TV because it's the one thing I can write about and talk about effortlessly for hours on end. But then I also felt like I was being true to the blog because it was *meant* to be a book blog. Because you know, you can't possibly write about more than one thing ....

The truth is:

  • I hate reading hardbacks, they just aren't that comfy to read (but they make for great photos)
  • On my own accord, I read about 5 YA books a year. Out of 50.
  • I love reading on my Kindle because there's nothing better than cheap books and I don't have to worry about storing (a virtual book doesn't make for a great photo does it? Of course there's nothing like reading a paperback. So at this point in time, I only really buy physical books I anticipate I'll love/read again. Or I just pass on/sell the books I decide I won't keep.
  • Though I'm passionate *another cringe word but again, appropriate* about film and books and TV, I often have the urge to write about other things because above all else, I love writing
  • I don't like bulk buying books. I buy no more than 4 at a time because having 20 books I bought last year that I haven't read makes me legit anxious. (Oh and I'm low key broke)
So here we are one year later. I've had a purge on the blog so everything left here, I like and I'm proud of, and I enjoyed writing. And though this will still predominantly be a film + book blog, expect a lot more personal posts.

I hate the fact that its taken so long to feel settled in blogging but there's also nothing wrong with that. If you don't know what you want to do, my new mantra is to try everything and don't feel shamed about constantly changing your mind. Not a very snappy mantra but you get the gist.
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